Gail:
I'm so glad you asked here so maybe this can be a bigger conversation with a lot of other parents. It's such a great post for such a hard and important question. I know you're in MA (like me) but I agree that these are national issues and hopefully others will share as well. I've heard lots of adult survivors and those who work with adults survivors about the lack of resources available for those who are adults who've had lots of trauma, ACEs, challenges and are dealing with that all in present tense. I'm thinking of @Dawn Daum and @Joyelle Brandt, of @Louise Godbold and @Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz of @Elizabeth Perry, @Melissa Sadin and @Julie Beem (I'm glad Julie's already replied) as well as SO MANY others.
I'm also tagging @Deb Mutschler who manages the Massachusetts Essentials for Childhood program, as well as @Heather Turner, @Kristal Cleaver, @Laurie Loisel and @Andrea Mancuso the Trauma Informed Hampshire County community as well as @edward jacoubs and @Melinda Kneeland who are doing great work on the South Shore in MA, and @Debra McLaughlin who is also leading work in central, MA. @Erin Golden is also key as is @Sebern Fisher and @Claudia Gold as they are all in MA, as is the amazing team at Riverside Trauma. I'm hoping some of them might have more ideas, suggestions, actual resources for you. Also, maybe it's time for a meeting in MA to expand the conversation and create more linkage with Stephanie C. of the Attachment Trauma Network who is also in MA (and is great)?
Speaking of, maybe this whole topic could be a session or several at the next ATN conference next year, about supporting teens transitioning to adulthood as well as supporting adults who have had developmental trauma, ACEs, traumatic stress, attachment losses or wounds?
Unfortunately, as someone who has been dealing with my own developmental trauma in greater Boston area, actively, for three plus decades, I also find it's really hard to access more than talk therapy even though the research shows far more and different is needed. Neurofeedback and lots of somatic based approaches aren't affordable, accessible, or covered by insurance at all a lot of the time and/or don't have practitioners anywhere near where we live, go to school, or work. Though we supposedly have some of the best healthcare, experts, and research here in MA that doesn't translate into the best actual or accessible services or support for kids, families, or adults dealing with attachment issues and developmental trauma in present tense, or later on.
I worry that the responses to ACEs screening is to refer people to behavioral health, mental health and social workers when those who have had access to those are and have been saying for a long time that what currently exists not only doesn't always work but can even re-traumatize those with trauma. It's a HUGE area. I admire your effort and advocacy to help make changes for not only your family but for others. I'm sorry it has been so darn hard. I know it's hard and I've lamented the crisis at our own Boston-based trauma center and the way it's made things harder here in MA for survivors and those needing any outpatient mental health services in the last year plus.
I think those in the adoption world and who know about developmental trauma are natural partners and are talking so much about so many similar issues. I agree that more collaboration and support for each other is needed. As an adoptive mother with my own developmental trauma, it was what I learned about attachment, as an adoptive parent to be, that was one of the top five most healing things for me, not just to help prepare me as a parent but to understand my own challenges relating to others. I mention this whenever I talk because while the trauma-informed movement is big on talking about "relational wealth and health," as the key to resilience, it's not talking as much about how parents with developmental trauma will have some real challenges, not because we aren't loving and capable but because we've not been as relationally advantaged as others, and live with that the adults we become.
I wish I had more resources, supports, specific things to share that could support you and your daughter. I can say this is a place (as is Parenting with ACEs) to keep sharing your concerns, and also to announce and share what you are sharing when you speak out to the Dept. of Mental Health, and if comfortable, share what you are saying in case others want to do the same and could share talking points, or at least support each other for the way advocacy and single parenting can be especially daunting when raising kids and dealing with their/our needs not being met, so we can keep finding each other.
This is a long response but I am sorry it still lacks tangible resources and that we have to be part of creating better resources as we're also in need and looking to identify them. Thank you for what you're doing and sharing.
Cissy
P.S. Rise Magazine though in NY not MA is doing great work helping advocate as and with parents who have been involved in child protective services. They address the equity and racial injustice issues that are often avoided or ignored and are important voices for all in child protective services and ACEs prevention work to listen to and work with. Often, people lament the lack of "lived experience" voices at meetings and tables, but there are lots of folks sharing articles and speeches who can give insights, and have support of orgs, and aren't token voices, or in awkward spot of being service recipient to an org asking them to also give feedback. For those who truly want to learn more, it's possible. My personal feeling isn't that it should be asked of parents and survivors to do as free and voluntary work when everyone else on the team is doing as a paid part of their wider work, and it keeps voices and representation token. I think teams and initiatives wish for more representation but don't yet have tools or skills or maybe willingness to really take this issue up and on and make change.
