Public School District CSA Prevention Strategies?

Jim Sporleder sent me this link, that might be useful to you, Brenda.

It's the Advocates for Children & Youth web site for Effective School Discipline for Maryland. They use Lincoln High School in Walla Walla, WA, where Jim is principal, as an example of best practice for a trauma-sensitive school. 

Reforming school discipline can be a good pathway to a school looking at the bigger picture of how to help its traumatized students, no matter what the trauma is. 

 

Oh Brenda, I'm so sorry to hear about the disappointing meeting w/ the school district. I know how crushing it is to not get the response we want. ESPECIALLY when it's clearly for the betterment of our world, our kids! And, you're right, it's not like this isn't a relevant topic these days what with Penn State, etc. It's mind-blowing how dismissive people in our institutions can be. That's a part of the problem...too much bureaucracy and too many desensitized people working in institutions. I know this isn't over for you, so I will look forward to hearing your next game plan after you've had some time to recover from this latest letdown. Thanks for letting us know the latest.

PS: I wanted to tell you to check out the Maryland links on the State Projects page. I made links for ACE/TIC results for each state's government website(s). Maybe you will find something helpful looking through those.

PS2: I did a quick search and found this from Washington County (Apr 2012):

http://www.wcps.k12.md.us/depts_programs/student_services/documents...

Maybe there are some folks in that county you can talk to/network with.

Also don’t forget to take a look at the resources I pulled out for you awhile back. Maybe some good contacts there, if you haven't already explored. http://acesconnection.com/forum/topics/public-school-district-csa-p...

And I just created two custom searches for "child abuse prevention" for K-12 schools in Maryland:

Sorted by Relevance http://bit.ly/171nxWN

Sorted by Date http://bit.ly/ZpUBFe

 

I am considering starting my own blog, with my family story (I will probably have to alter my name to keep from getting sued), and spelling out my journey to try to get prevention in the minds of our school system, county government, etc. ppl on Twitter seem to think I might do some good. What's your opinion, Aces family?

Jane,
Thank you for the link! I need to update everyone concerning my May 23rd meeting with the school district personnel.

As you might have guessed, it was extremely disappointing for me personally. I'd like to think that this issue would be front and center, since there's SO much information out in the public domain about preventing CSA. But sad to say, it is not.

I was told that I might be able to become part of some kind of unofficial group,providing perhaps updates on a quarterly basis on what's new on the subject of child sexual abuse. But I was also told that if they wanted to do anything "official" with my skills, they would have to go through ten layers of bureaucracy, that they do not have the resources nor the money for this either.

While the person I spoke with loved everything I shared with her, she also admitted to being overwhelmed by the sheer number of requests from parents/community groups who write in to offer help (I doubt that many are as aware as I am concerning CSA and trauma-informed care). The office of three people spends a LOT of time just bringing in a select group of hand-picked community parents or groups to talk about what they have to offer. Some of that is not useful to the school.

I left thinking "how long is it going to take before we adults do the right thing for our children?". Truly, when do children really rise to the top in our culture.

I am not certain of my next step, but I am far from done fighting for the safety of children in the school setting.

I'm not feeling it. I don't want to sound unsupportive but it is my opinion. I think to effect change you need to network w/ some kindred spirits who may already be trying to create change. The problem w/ a blog is it takes time to build up a readership and survivor stories aren't usually fare that most folks want to read.

You might want to touch base w/ the Montgomery County Council PTA and/or the Montgomery County Public Schools Educational Foundation. They might be more receptive to and supportive of your cause.

 

I will always support you, Brenda, in whatever efforts you undertake. Please keep us posted on what you plan to do.

Chris, I appreciate your thoughts and am not sure if I am "feeling it either.". I definitely know there is power in numbers, so I want to think through my next move carefully. Such a fantastic group that you can just say honestly what you're thinking and know that it's okay. I really appreciate that! Brenda

Brenda, That's AWESOME your husband will be the next co-President of your local PTA! Especially with his upcoming appointment, teaming up w/ this agency seems to be a logical next move. Couldn't be more perfect with that mission statement! I have a good feeling about this. You're wise to approach your community superintendent with "specific" examples you and other moms have experienced this past year. This sounds really good, Brenda. Please keep us posted. And as always, let me know if I can be of any help.

Chris, I think the Montgomery County PTA is probably my next move! We have a new co-President next year (my husband) who went to training this past week and guess what? The MCCPTA's mission statement is that they "are a child advocate organization"! If they really mean what they state in their mission, we have a LOT in common and I have people to contact and lots of advocacy to do. I just need a powerful enough ally to put some clout and backing into my efforts. Then we might actually get somewhere. I also think I am going to start educating our community superintendent about what is broken, using specific examples of experiences I and other moms have had this past year on this issue.

Thank you for the information, Chris! I hope to contact her and see if she'd like to advocate for prevention in Maryland! People only listen to "celebrity" these days...

I just ran into this and thought this was the best place to post it.

Confronting Child Sexual Abuse Newsletter

http://dir.groups.yahoo.com/group/volunteercoordinatorspcar/message/754

Brenda, Just saw this woman's name mentioned in this story. Maybe someone to be aware of.

"Asia Graves, now a Maryland-based advocate for sexually exploited girls, told of being kicked out of her home by her father at the age of 16 and soon found herself with a man who took her in during a Boston snowstorm. After a week of living comfortably, things changed...."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20130611/us-child-prostitutes/

I've gone through the 162 page document outlining the Union agreement between our public school system (#MCPS) and the Union and I haven't found a thing that would prevent our school leaders from adopting prevention policies in schools!  Maybe it's well hidden, but most of what I read talks about creating civility, respect, cooperation, etc. between adults and the children they serve.  To me, this language lends itself right into the issue I want explicitly outlined.  It perplexes me to no end why anyone would waste a moment's time to institute prevention policies, and display a zero tolerance policy, which would only help prevent these types of traumas from occurring in our schools.  The momentum has to swell from the community (political leaders, parents, other adults who care for kids) before anyone lifts a finger.  The fear factor & apathy play right into a perpetrator's hands...

Brenda, You may want to add Kathleen Sebelius' Dear State Director Letter into your arsenal. It was linked to in her HuffPo article. Many people deny these problems because they may have their own mental wounds that they have compartmentalized off in their psyche. Blaming victims is another way for survivors in denial to find control in "their reality." It's a depressing part of the advocacy reality that we will run into folks like this and, no doubt, get retraumatized by their own emotionally abusive defenses.

Brenda- I have been reading your discussion from page 1 and at last have to reply- I absolutely have the same thought - when will we finally put kids first and do what's right?! I also feel angry that not even the supposed to be "good guys" are on board with prevention of all abuse. I am concerned about our public schools and how to support education in a reframe. I admire your energy - keep it up!

Wendy, Thank you for reading that litany of pain-filled attempts to gain the attention of our so called community "leaders"! It makes me so sad that we are lead by old thoughts, old systems and ways of doing things, and innumerable bystanders who are willingly serving up our youth to the harmful traumas we read about every day! Today I watched a webinar by Safe Start on teen dating violence and their policy toolkit for getting prevention policies in place in school systems. It was marvelous and our two issues are definitely linked! I found out that school systems are obligated under Title IX to provide relief from sexual harassment and discrimination, which includes any abuse by any individual at school - adults, kids, whomever. I am going to start bringing that angle into my argument, as it has gained some traction in some school districts in the US.

My *new* best friend in the arsenal of gaining influence in the public school district arena to enact prevention policies and procedures surrounding child sexual abuse (really, ALL childhood trauma) in school:

http://smhp.psych.ucla.edu/publications/school&communitycollaboration.pdf

It's FILLED with things I've been saying, points I've been making.  I hope there is movement forward by leadership.

I was also blown away by Robert Anda's talk at the ISF's May 13-14, 2013 meeting!  I LOVED it when he said "We need to institutionalize resilience and NOT trauma!"  I was cheering!  The whole talk was inspiring to me.

And, as a way of ending this little update on a positive note, I've had TWO talks with my son's Middle School leadership (he's in sixth grade now).  The first was a talk concerning a teacher who is (was?) giving out prizes to students who did well in his classroom.  I went into my prevention mode, letting school leadership know that these are the EXACT tools of a predator grooming his/her prey.  You know what?  I was so relieved to have been heard, to have been validated, and not attacked for having brought this issue before the school.  It was a 180 degree change from what I've experienced at our elementary (which is nothing but denial, denial, denial).

Monday, I attended the family life sexuality and disease prevention parent informational meeting.  There was an opportunity to give feedback at the end on a sheet of paper.  I went TO TOWN about how Middle School is a PERFECT place to do teen dating violence prevention education/programs!  I added that talking about healthy masculinity, involving the students themselves in the programs, allowing SSL hours, helps them OWN the issue and get the message out...so I emailed the leadership with my pleas.  And included a Maryland law that allows county BoE's to include teen dating violence prevention education in their health cirriculum.  And guess what?  I have an appointment to go in and discuss it further - potentially giving a talk in front of the school PTA on the issue.  I mean really...this is a shift in the way I've been dealt with prior to the start of this school year.  Dare I be hopeful?  Oh, and THANK YOU startstrongteens.org/resources/policy for ALL the helpful information you've given me in the teen dating violence prevention arena!

That's terrific, Brenda!  So glad to hear that you're making headway. 

Cheers, Jane

Brenda, What amazing positive news!!! This is AWESOME! FINALLY, huh? Not sure if you caught the story about A Call To Men. It's another great sounding program to redefine masculinity in our culture. Check out the 12 min. video I just posted. I'm so happy to hear all this good news! Please keep us posted! High five, girl!

Brenda- so glad to hear you are getting traction and found a way to get educators attention - I admire your persistence !

Totally agree with everything you said, Brenda. Amazing how clueless some folks are. And there IS research out of UCSF, I believe, where one doc thinks sugar should be regulated b/c it is so bad for us. I think he was on 60 Minutes. So wrong, on so many levels, esp. where you're concerned, too! Unbelievable! <shaking head>

Today I received an email from an administrator at my son's Middle School.  Here it is, verbatim:  "I wanted to follow up with you and provide you an update.  Today at our Instructional Leadership meeting we discussed Montgomery County Public Schools' Regulation  on the use of food and beverages in schools.  Although teachers cannot be prevented from using candy as a reward, the instructional leadership team (this group consists of teachers and administrators)  began a discussion about the importance of being thoughtful when using candy as a classroom reward."

Now, is it just ME, or do other thoughtful, prevention minded citizens have a problem w/the fact that our school system cannot prevent teachers from using candy as a reward?  I really don't understand the thought process behind this.  Not only is it a grooming tool, but MANY parents do NOT want their children to have candy in the first place....we have SO FAR TO GO in educating very highly educated people about the concepts of preventing violence!

Just received confirmation from a school administrator that our school system, MCPS, has a system-wide policy in which teachers cannot be prevented from handing out candy to kids in school!  I cannot BELIEVE THIS! This school system suffered negative national press recently concerning a teacher who abused 14 girls in K-2nd grade.  He'd been turned in, reported by teachers and parents alike and the principal did nothing in response.  And our Superintendent, Joshua Starr, signed a letter placed in his personnel file that allowed him TO CONTINUE TO TEACH as long as he kept the door open, agreed to not touch kids, etc.  I cannot believe the IRRESPONSIBLE adult behavior and leadership!

OMG, Brenda, this is just OUTRAGEOUS! I cannot believe it either. Absolutely, UNBELIEVABLE that Strarr allowed that teacher to continue to teach after abusing 14 girls in K-2nd! Gosh I'm thinking, what can I suggest. In the reported story was there a person/organization of conscience whose side was expressed? Don't know how recent this has been. If recent, was an online petition generated as a result of the teacher story? A good petition site is "thepetitionsite.com"--easy for people to sign, fyi. If you write it, I will help get the word out on Twitter. Do you know about this website? Let me know how I can help, Brenda! This is such distressing news!

Oh geez, Brenda, I know it's horrible how 'money' rules and not in the right way and how there is an epidemic of poor leadership across the country in our youth-serving org's! And, I'm sadly familiar with your description of the PTA. :((

I'm happy to hear you are making connections. No doubt there is power in numbers. Please keep us posted.

Chris, thank you for your support on the issue of the safety of kids in the classroom.  The kind of thing going on at MCPS isn't just going on there - it's going on in youth-serving organizations across the country.  One reason this keeps happening is that institutions open themselves up to increased liability when they institute policies they can't properly enforce.  I really believe this is a BIGGIE:  MORE liability instead of less (not kids MORE SAFE instead of LESS).  Priorities seem to always lay on the side of money. It makes me sick.  As far as I know, there's no community cohesion or activism around the idea of prevention in our school district.  Which means advocates such as myself really need to find a vehicle to FIND EACH OTHER and get connected.  I am happy to report that that is now happening in our elementary (due to similar horrible circumstances that I won't get into publicly).  If ONLY our PTA system would STOP being the money-tree for principals and start being the CHILD ADVOCACY organization it was meant to be!

Sadly makes sense doesn't it Brenda, schools under-reporting or not reporting at all to protect school's image. Such an insidious problem. Please keep us posted on how next Tuesday's meeting goes. It's nice to hear you have someone who has identified your same concerns.

Update as of October 25th:  I have a meeting scheduled next Tuesday morning to talk with the "Safety and Health Committee" Chair for MCCPTA.  She and I will be discussing the very REAL problem we've both identified in individual schools: officials are under-reporting (or NOT reporting at all) the issues that crop up day to day inside their schools (because it reflects poorly on the administrators, who want/need to protect their school's image).  I shared an example of that with her from my son's school (fist fight immediately after school last Wednesday that landed one child in the hospital and one child suspended) and then the on-going problem we're having at my daughter's school with a particular employee who can't seem to understand proper boundaries between adults and children, and other related issues.  One day I hope to meet a courageous leader who is willing to tackle these very tough, but absolutely VITAL safety concerns to help keep kids safe....all of which could be addressed in some serious and needed Prevention Policies and Procedures!