Sexual Abuse: BREAK The Silence

Hi Carmen,

As an adult survivor of child sexual abuse (with another sibling who was also abused in childhood), I can honestly say that your words are so true, resonate so well, and speak to my experience and those of other survivors I come in contact with on a daily basis.  That's why I'm passionate about prevention!  And I wish you complete success in the pursuit of your passions as well.  Silence only helps the perpetrators and only damages abuse victims and their families.  As a society, we need to turn this thinking around!

Yes ma'am! I agree totally. During the last few weeks I have been speaking to people about this and I get the same thing...Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment. As a victim...that should not be. These factors along with other things causes one to "Keep their Secret" and Healing can not take place unless the wound is Uncovered and Exposed.

I have even written a stage play that deals with this because you are right our Society needs a change in mindset. Presenting the play in October and hope to distribute many DVDs to help raise awareness. 

Thanks for responding to this post...

Silence is brought about in so many types of ACEs. I don't want to diminish the silence surrounding child sexual (or even rape as an adult).  But when you are a kid and if you know your brother may be beaten or you  may separated from your siblings by CPS if when the school teacher asks you ... How did that Left eye get Black and the next week they ask you how did that right eye get black... what I said is "I fell" I'm a klutz.  I didn't want to get separated from my brothers and sisters so that I wouldn't have my family or worse yet, be able to protect them by taking the beating or the sexual abuse or whatever. Silence is easily obtained in children who have no way of knowing that those they may find themselves with if they would break the silence would be any better than those they were with and also you could loose your school --- I was gonna be and was valedictorian of my class... Silence was my motto... How are you going to convince a kid to talk.  In my case there wasn't even coercion by family to keep silent. I knew it was a necessity.  And when others found out and I could be silent no more. The state came in, they separated me from my brother and sister and It was the most "hellish" experience of my life. I would keep silent again if placed in the same situation.... How can you overcome that?

So what does "breaking the silence" mean? Does it mean society understands that child sexual abuse is a problem that must be acknowledged and dealt with or does it mean that children must speak up? Until it children know they will be safe.....they cannot speak..... The traumatic re-victimatization almost lead to my death. I don't think kids will speak up until society can and  does assure they are safe, will go to a safe place, will not loose their siblings, will not loose their school and not have their world turned upside down. Sometimes it is easier to stay with sadists than move into the unknown especially if all you have ever known is family dysfunction... Just my thought thanks