Hello PACEs community. I recently went to drop off some items for my son at his summer camp. I saw him playing with 3 other children and went over to greet him and ask him where they hang their belongings. While inquiring, one of the kids wanted the toy another kid had to complete his task. They all had similar toys but he wanted the one the other kid had. My son continued to play while I observed this exchange. In a matter of seconds, one of the kids leaped across the table to grab the toy from the other kid while the third kid tried to help defend the kid that was being attacked (for lack of a better word). I, in a calm voice asked all the kids to keep their hands to themselves. In that brief moment, the kid that had came across the table walked around to the side of the kid and started trying to take the toy from behind. I again said let's keep our hands to ourselves please. I did not want to pull the children apart because I don't work there and didn't want anything to be misconstrued. I started talking to the aggressor because at this point the kid is crying loudly that they want the toy and breathing erratically. In a calm voice I told the kid to calm down and take some deep breaths to get himself under control. He was able to calm down and finally withdraw from trying to take the toy away from the other kid. Finally, everyone was calm and went back to playing together.
In that moment, it was a bit stressful for me as I'm trying to talk to my own child and witnessing this conflict with other children and no one came to help any of us. As I walked out, there were parents looking in my direction and I wondered why no one attempted to assist. This is my first time sending my son to this program for the summer so I'm not familiar with how things operate on a day-to-day basis but I was not prepared to be a referee that day.
Unfortunately, our society has resorted to a hands-off approach. What does it cost our children when we take a hands-off approach? What is that teaching our children and does it benefit them? I often look to "the village" in these types of situations and "the village" isn't there to assist me. I will continue to help when and where I can especially if it involves assisting children in making better decisions.
What would you do in this situation?
