Where do I start?

Dear George:

Welcome. It's a great community. I have found ACES, the test and the science, to be so helpful for helping me gain self compassion and acceptance. It helps put some things in perspective. It helped me prioritize things. It motivates my parenting. Good luck on your journey. Cissy

I must admit I am slightly intimidated being surrounded by so many great minds. I applaud your work, insights and willingness to allow me to be a part of your community.  If anyone would like to hear who ACEs effected my life and those in my family. I am willing to participate in a study or help by telling more about my messed up addiction, health and inability to be intimate. George 

Dr Nadine Burke-Harris is a well known TEDtalk presenter that promotes a great formula for starting the healing process: sleep, nutrition, exercise, mindfulness, mental health and healthy relationships.

Granted those items are a lot to get right all at one time and what 'right' looks like will vary from person to person. Childhood challenges including possible dual diagnoses, often does requires long term work focusing on developing skills.

The recovery community (AA, NA, etc) is structured around helping participates learn how to build healthy, supportive, two-way relationships.

Good, productive therapy work  sucks. It is not fun dealing with stuff that hurts especially when you're the one having to do all the work of skill building. ACE treatment should include trauma sensitivity that also develops self-care routines when your emotions are running high.

Congratulate yourself on feeding the positive by reaching out!

Lena I appreciate your insights. I will look into Dr, Burke-Harris' work.

I am excited to read and learn from everyone in the days ahead. 

There's also a great book to read about this, George: Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology and How to Heal, by Donna Jackson Nakazawa.

I realized we blew past your initial question of 'Where do I start?'. It is easy to get swept up in details of any situation and forget the initial quest which is a really important part of the process. What is your goal/s to finding help? And in what order?

Also, each therapist is different and it does you no good to give up trying to find one that helps. You might start with the therapist that didn't work out and ask if she has any suggestions with whom you may be a better fit. Most of the time, people just want to help.

In my opinion, the best way to combat negative thinking is using Cognitive Behavior Therapy. The original version which includes 'labeling' the thoughts is the most effective. Modern versions of CBT have pared down the process which tends to make the therapy  less effective.

Lena Ledbetter posted:

I realized we blew past your initial question of 'Where do I start?'. It is easy to get swept up in details of any situation and forget the initial quest which is a really important part of the process. What is your goal/s to finding help? And in what order?

Also, each therapist is different and it does you no good to give up trying to find one that helps. You might start with the therapist that didn't work out and ask if she has any suggestions with whom you may be a better fit. Most of the time, people just want to help.

In my opinion, the best way to combat negative thinking is using Cognitive Behavior Therapy. The original version which includes 'labeling' the thoughts is the most effective. Modern versions of CBT have pared down the process which tends to make the therapy  less effective.

I probably failed to tag my post correctly and went rather generic. I would not say you blew by my question.  I think addressing what it is I want or my goal is a good place to start. My former therapist had a hard time pinning me down as to where I wanted to go. She jumped to resilience and reading  on ways I could turn my negative feelings positive.