Working with Parents and Children Together

I am a CASA and one of the main goals I had for my youth was helping her bond with her foster family.  I researched what she and I could do together, to support her healing overall.  I have a lot of ideas for you.

Bessel Van der Kolk talks about the importance of rhythmic, synchronized group activity for regulation.  That can be horseback riding,  frisbee, contra dance, ping pong, or whatever the family enjoys.  But you can give them a range of ideas. I often played tennis w my CASA youth, because it is a regulating activity but also one we both enjoyed.

I think a lot of the remedial learning kids need is about fundamental things they have never been exposed to.  Explain things that you might think are 'obvious.'  After 6 years in the home, my youth did not know anyone might WANT her to come home from college for Thanksgiving... and she would never have assumed that.  Telling her "your foster family might feel disappointed not to be able to see you" was totally new information for her.

I think you can interpret the kid to the family, and vice versa, helping them "get" each other and be more tolerant and empathetic of one another.

I participated in some training called Trust-Based Relational Intervention through the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development at Texas Christian University, and it was outstanding.  Based on the difficulties with attachment you mention, it was being widely used in the foster care system to prepare foster families.  Here is an overview:  https://youtu.be/T43zJDgTNPA

I'd recommend looking at Trust Based Relational Intervention, as someone mentioned. You could also look at Theraplay. Both will require training but they are worth looking into. The training is a good investment if you are working with children and families with trauma and attachment problems. TBRI has some DVDs you can buy and you can read The Connected Child to get more background. I am also trained in Child-Parent Psychotherapy but have had some challenges implementing it with some families. It can be a little psychodynamic for some families to grasp. UC Davis has also begun to incorporate trauma into PCIT. There is a free online training you can check out: https://pcit.ucdavis.edu/pcit-web-course/

Best of luck!

Thank you Angelina.  I too find that Child-Parent Psychotherapy a bit cumbersome for these families as is traditional family therapy.  I will look into the TRBI and actually read The Connected Child a number of years ago.  

Elaine:

All attachment related emphasis is super helpful. All adoptive parents get home study requirements and basics info. So there is no stigma. It is often led or co-led by adoptive parents so there is no us and them vibes but a sense of sharing instead. Many with ACEs, like me - opt for adoption to avoid triggers and complications of birth, breastfeeding, medication issues, etc. Etc. Though we may not say so at first. We end up learning more about healing via understanding attachment than in most trauma treatment. I wish for a similar system for bio and birth and all parents. Plus, adoptive parents do not carry same shame or judgement that birth families often experience because trauma often, though not always, occurs pre placement. However, more resources are needed for grief, loss and race issues for families who adopt. Glad to see this topic explored. Cissy

Have you considered the Child Trauma Academy and Dr. Bruce Perry's Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics? http://childtrauma.org/nmt-model/faqs/

Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP)  and its wider Practice of PACE - Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy.

These are the intervention models I'd consider that will help you with a family-based, attachment-focused approach - both because they are sound trauma-informed, attachment-focused therapy, but they also have materials and strategies available for parents to implement.  Some have already been mentioned:  DDP/PACE, TBRI, Circle of Security, the ARC Model, Theraplay, Sanctuary Model, the Nurtured Heart Approach.  Being versed in more than one of these is always a good idea.  In my experience, children and families need different "tools" at different stages - and while these models are GREAT - each of them have their strengths and weaknesses - and each adds tools to the overall toolbox.

Chiming in that Dr. Perry's NMT is a great model too - but is more focused on child's trauma - and need for helping child to regulate and build relationship than the attachment work for the family -- Perry's model and his "five Rs" could and should be integrated into any attachment/trauma work therapists and other trauma-informed professionals are doing -- the movement and sensory components of this (and TBRI, Theraplay and others) is critical.

In the UK, Hilary Kennedy has developed a wonderful therapeutic intervention for parents and children called Video Interaction Guidance or VIG. The website is 'videointeractionguidance.net' and it shows you how it works. It is totally in keeping with the ACE studies and with trauma-informed care as it is based on attachment research and promotes strengths by enabling parents to attune (and mentalize) with their Children and thereby heal the wounds resulting from trauma in both children and parents. As it happens it is now the official recommended treatment for adoptive families in the UK. It is both user- friendly and cost effective and therapists love it.

The reason why adopted traumatised children are resistant to the loving care of their adoptive parents is because they are paradoxically bonded by their traumatic attachment to their original abusive parent. VIG works so beautifully in maximizing the attunement capacity of parents that it appears to "melt' the traumatic attachment. I am currently doing clinical studies on adults suffering from the effects of Traumatic attachments to their caregivers who have problems with addiction and violence. 
VIG training involves one week-end introduction and  subsequent supervision of the work done in your jobs by trained VIG guides; this can be done partly on skype. They are now working in violent communities in Mexico and with addicted families in Ecuador as well as in many European countries. If interested get in touch with the VIG staff through their website.